Posts Tagged ‘friends’

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Don’t Forget Your Single Friends

Sunday, August 22nd, 2010

When you’re planning a wedding, don’t forget your single friends. Even though you may extend the invitation to them and a guest, often they are still going to come alone.

(Let’s face it, unless you are pretty involved with someone, there is no faster way to scare them off than to invite them to a wedding where they might get “ideas”.)

So when setting up your seating arrangements, keep your single friends in mind. Don’t put one or two singles at a table full of couples (unless you know they are all part of the same social group/friends). By the same token, don’t put all the single women at one table and all the single men at another.

Consider doing away with assigned seating altogether. Most couples have a few tables reserved for bride’s and groom’s families as well as the wedding party, and then the rest is open seating.

If you feel you must have assigned seating, then try to keep it light and mixed gender. Focus more on your wedding and less on playing matchmaker.

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I Love You, Man! (Or How to ask, "Will you be a groomsman?")

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

Selecting the group of guys who will stand up with you on your wedding day is not the simplest task.  The best man will probably be the clearest of your selections. There is sure to be one man you’re closest to and he’s your best choice. Often grooms choose a brother as their best man. In addition to the fact that you’ll be affirming your family bond, you know you can count on him. If you feel your wedding wouldn’t be complete without a certain best man, but he’s not all that reliable, consider having two best men and the reliable one can hold on to the ring. The two-best-men option might also be the way to go if you find yourself unable to choose between two of your brothers or best friends for the job.

For the groomsmen you should choose men who’ve shared your past.  If possible, a brother is a good place to start. It is also a smart idea to include your bride’s brothers if you can. It is perfectly acceptable to draw the line at the teen-age brothers. You can include them in the proceedings by asking them to handle other roles such as an usher or escorting a family member down the aisle to be seated.  Your friends will probably understand your choosing family members over them. But the trickiest part for any groom is deciding between his closest friends. The decision may come down to which of the guys you’ve known the longest.

If you feel that a certain good friend might be burdened financially for some reason by taking on the role of groomsman, you might consider asking him to be an usher instead. This is usually more of an issue for bridesmaids who have to shell out for everything from shower presents to dresses and dyed shoes. Still, it’s something to think about, not to mention a good way to cut back the numbers if you need to.

The role of a groomsman is very simple. Some typical groomsman responsibilities are to show up for the rehearsal on time; arrive at the wedding with you, dressed appropriately, before the guests arrive; in some cases escort a bridesmaid down the aisle before and after the ceremony; dance with a bridesmaid at the reception and have fun.  Groomsmen have nowhere near the number of responsibilities given to the best man who essentially acts as their foreman. The men should be aware that their leader might ask them to share some of his duties, especially concerning last minute errands and shuttling of family.

Ask friends whom you wish to include in the celebration to be ushers. These men won’t be dressed as the wedding party, but in suits of their own choosing. It is a nice gesture, however, to give them each a boutonniere similar to those worn by you and the groomsmen.  Another way to include people is to ask if they would do a reading at your wedding. Be careful about this one though. Many people are very uncomfortable about public speaking.  Another idea is if one of the friends happens to be a musician or singer, you may consider asking them to perform at the wedding.

It is always good form for the groom to acknowledge the men who stand up for him at the wedding. This acknowledgement can be as simple as a thank you letter, but most grooms choose to offer a small gift to each attendant, usually distributed at the rehearsal dinner.

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